By Alana Saucier
For as long as I can remember, I was known by people around me as the One Direction girl, and as the person that was always associated with the band. My friends and family loved to joke with me about how “obsessed” I was, but I don’t think anyone will truly ever understand what they mean to me besides other fans who grew up loving them as a band and continued to love and support them in their solo careers. I have been a One Direction fan since I was 9, which is more than half of my life. Therefore, I have “known” One Direction longer than almost everyone in my current life- other than my family. They have been the one constant throughout my upbringing- the thing that will never change about me- and the thing that connects me with the part of myself I have lost. In some cosmic way, they allow me to feel the same emotions and excitement that I once did when I was a kid, and I know other fans agree. There’s nothing more special than listening to the albums you listened to when you were nine years old and discovering that it makes you feel the exact same way.
It wasn’t just their catchy songs and performances that attracted fans, captivating hearts all over the globe and driving girls to “hysteria”- it was their overall charisma as a group and their vibe of “lads that just had fun” (and couldn’t dance.) One Direction was the first thing I felt true passion for in my entire life. I will never forget fighting with classmates in elementary school, defending them as if my life depended on it. I learned to channel this passion and have brought it to other aspects of my life. My friends and family know me as a passionate person. I think I have One Direction to thank for that.
Very few aspects of my world have not been touched by One Direction, so much so that they eventually become embedded into my identity. I have made many friends thanks to them, and they are responsible for some of my best and most special memories. They have somehow managed to be there for every major milestone in my life. Whether it be my first concert days before my first day of middle school or seeing Harry Styles at Madison Square Garden in my freshman and sophomore years of college. If they weren’t there coincidentally, I made sure to incorporate them, like my senior yearbook quote, hanging their pictures in a new room, or even just listening to their music when I felt like they should be there. Funny enough, my plane ticket seat was 41D when I left to study abroad. Simultaneously, as I was growing, so were they. As I got older, the band became more successful, eventually becoming successful solo artists as well. Not only was I hitting milestones, but they were too. Throughout my life, things always lead back to One Direction, and I feel very lucky to have grown up with something as special as they were.
One Direction was the epitome of a cultural phenomenon. The closest we will ever see to Beatlemania, and we will never see anything like it again. The death of Liam Payne is incomprehensible to people who were touched by this phenomenon. Trying to process the death of such a large part of my childhood as an adult is such a strange feeling, especially when it’s a person I don’t truly know personally- even if it feels like it. It epitomizes what it feels like to grow up, leaving my youth behind me forever. At the end of the day, no, Liam Payne did not know me, but my heart and soul will forever be tied to what he represented.
To lose a person who was involved with the biggest group in the world at one point that has continued to maintain relevance is already and is going to create a huge strain on pop culture and society. Before his death, Liam only existed in the world of his fans, and his death set him apart from the general public in a shocking way. I hate that the most positive things that have been said about him in years are after it’s too late for him to hear them when I’ve known how wonderful he was all along. I hope that the past version of Liam knew how many lives he touched, despite the words of the cruel society he existed in. Now, and every day, I am so proud to be that One Direction girl. In the end, time only flows in One Direction. You can only look back and be fond of the memories left in its path.
